What the Confederate Flag means to me

There has been a movement towards taking down the Confederate Flag among the South because someone posed in pictures with the confederate flag before committing a hate crime. (Imagine if people were taking down crosses because he was holding a cross in his hand while committing the hate crime) If this does not seem like a foolish enough of a reason to ban something, I would like to share what the confederate flag represents to me.

In the 1800's before the civil war, teachers usually point to the conditions of slavery in the south and condemn the plantation owners as inhumane. Then when we get to the early 1900's with the rise of regulation in factories to protect workers and vaguely go over how these regulations made life better for workers today. As far as I am concerned, nobody points out that life as a factory worker was not very different from being a slave in terms of treatment and living conditions.

This is an important fact to point out because the South seceded from the union when it felt like it had been unjustly served by other states and the federal government in retaining its rights as a state. It is true that it was related to the North trying to abolish slavery, but it is important to note that it was showing that states have the power to stand up to the federal government and other states when rights are infringed in similar ways as when the colonies were wronged by Great Britain before they became the United States of America.

The confederate flag is a symbol to me of the power of the people or states to stand up against federal government and other states when they work to infringe upon the rights of people and states. To me it represents the power of the people to stand up when their government created by the constitution no longer respects the rights that pulled us all together. This is a symbol borne by those who stand by the second amendment so that the people can be armed against their government when it ceases to serve its proper function. The confederate flag is a symbol that the government is responsible to the people for how it upholds its duties to preserve the liberties of the American people.

This is the reason why I think it is unwise to remove this symbol. As part of first amendment rights, I believe that it should hang as a reminder to government officials what they are really supposed to be doing. If it becomes illegal to sell or have the confederate flag it will be a horrible sign of tyranny against the people of the United State of America by its government.

The confederate flag has been used as a rally point for white supremacists as they try to restore the former status quo or as they plan hate crimes, but this does not mean that the confederate flag is a symbol of white supremacists or hate of colored people. Many groups rally under a benign symbol for hideous deeds, be it Crusades and the cross, radical Islam and the Koran, or violence against Christians churches and the rainbow flag. All of these are people using a positive symbol in a way to promote violence that is not represented by the symbol. The confederate flag is the same way. It is a symbol of people who are brave enough to stand up against powers that be when they stop upholding the purpose they were placed in that position of power.

The same goes for us today, as we look to the true meaning of symbols we can avoid discriminate against those who rally under them for non-violent reasons. I stand for the right of persons and governments to display the confederate flag. I hope it will be permitted to continue to wave across the nation as a symbol against tyranny from the federal government.

To Those Who Opposed

To Those Who Opposed the sustaining of the prophets,

I appreciate your bravery and your diligence in seeking answers to the questions and concerns that are deep in your heart. These concerns and struggles are very important in finding truth. I hope to share with you how I learned to “express feedback, opinions, dissent, or dissatisfaction about the current views, positions and teachings of the LDS Church” (taken from www.standard.net).

I have been brought up in the LDS Church and trained to think for myself and learn things for myself. I had my trials and learned to build my testimony at a young age. The part that meant the most to me was about Jesus Christ and how everything that He did was for me. Part of this was learning that Jesus Christ is the head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, not any of the leaders or prophets.

I can greatly relate to those who have concerns about the Priesthood and how men and women are treated differently in the Church or how Church members don't always act in harmony to the teachings of the Church towards fellow members of the fold. I have experienced those things for myself and had those same questions. And I took them to the head of the Church.

The exact example I will use here will be about the differences that used to exist in allowing males and females to go on missions. As a teenager, I longed to go on a mission and knew that I had to wait until I was 21 while the boys all got to go at 19. This was an issue in my mind. As I said before I took this problem to the head of the Church. I prayed a lot and I prayed hard because it was something near and dear to me. I kept praying and knew Gd was listening, but I didn't get the "you will understand later feeling" (as I did for other questions that I had that I did and am getting answers about). Instead I felt that what I was saying was right.

When I turned 21, I already had my mission call and was reporting to the MTC in two weeks. While I was in the MTC the monumental announcement came that lowered the missionary age. It was the answer to my prayer. The head of the Church had heard my plea and the plea of many others and made the change. I know that it was after it would directly affect me (meaning I was already a missionary under the old system), but I knew that Gd listened and answered my concern.

I am very proud to be a member of the Church where everyone has access to He who stands at the head, where I can receive direct answers from Him, and where I know everything will and does fit. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has the best method to express feedback, dissent, opinions, and dissatisfaction. That method is prayer. I know it does not seem as glorious and instant as people would like it to be, but it is the way that helps the most. And by 'helps the most' I mean it is the best method to fulfill Gd's purpose "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39).

To all those who question, I invite you to "ask, and it shall be given you; [to] seek, and ye shall find" (Matthew 7:7). The head of the Church is eager to hear your concerns and help you bring about the change that will help "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

Sincerely,
Marzipan

13 February 2015

I am going to talk about something very close and personal today. I am going to talk about my wedding that did not happen today like I planned on it about five months ago. I was supposed to get married this morning in the Ogden Utah Temple. I strongly believe that both of us are glad that it didn't happen, but I felt like I wanted to open up and share the things I learned.

I would like to thank my ex-fiance for teaching me a very important lesson rather quickly and probably in the only way that I could learn. After coming home from my mission I was excited to discover who I really was, chase my dreams, and get married and have a happily ever after. I really felt like all the pieces were coming together as I starting dating this guy and we started thinking about marriage (because that is what people do after serving missions). Only after several things blew up in my face did I realize that what I thought was going great and wonderfully was really not. I also found that things weren't really as I was seeing them.

Yes, this does include what I understood about my then fiance, but I think the most important lesson was about myself. I was not who I thought I was. I felt I was heading in the right direction, I was seeking out my true self, stretching, finding and developing new skills, and it was paying off. What I know realize was that I was chasing someone that I wasn't. I was applying to internships at the same time, and they were heavily swayed by our decision to get married (and they might have actually encouraged me to talk about marriage sooner because I had major decisions to make that would effect the ability of us to stay in the same area). I was going to be a consultant intern at an accounting firm and I thought it was a great match for my skills and where my life was heading.

I was trying to be the person that fit into that category. I was trying to be the person that fit my ex-fiance because that was the ideal that I had set up for myself. I thought we were so compatible in everything, but then I saw that I did not properly see myself or him. I saw what I thought I was and what I expected the match for who I was. Sorry for the pain and confusion I caused, but I learn best by trial and error.

Reflecting, I learned a lot about myself. I am impulsive (not quite to Gryffindor levels, but still). I do not like a steady regular job, I would much rather take great risks and try new things that haven't been done before. My personality did not go well with my ex-fiance because he couldn't understand my changing thoughts and not so regular views on life. He was very fixed and firm, which many girls like and need, but not who I am and what I want now. I am flighty and very easily influenced and not at the same time. I am quiet and shy at times and other times I take the initiative in getting to know people. I guess it is easy enough to say that I am inconsistent...if my blogging habits don't show you that I don't know what else does. (If you wanted to know for the month I blogged basically every day, what happened was that I had blogging fever and would write several posts and then I would save them and post them as the days happened). My irregularity would not have gone well with my ex-fiance. I still do not understand myself one hundred percent, but I will take my journey and figure it out.

pinterest,com, and I mean this about myself
as much as I mean my ex-fiance

Since tomorrow is also Valentine's Day, I want to share the relationship advice I learned. Sometimes it is the right thing to walk away from a 'great guy'. It is a complicated world and usually we set up expectations that do not match who we truly are or what would really make us happy. As we learn that we can adjust our list and our lives to better match the person who we really would be happy to be with: the right version of ourselves.

Catch-up to 2015

Dearest Sparse readers,

I am here to catch you up on what I have been doing in order to chase my dreams and develop my skills and talents. Most of you are people I know in real life and will already know that I am studying abroad in Italy. A marvelous opportunity that I could not have turned down and felt like I was still chasing after my dreams. I am in Milan, Italy and start classes today. The one I am the most excited about is the Management in Fashion class, which was a factor that pulled me to this student exchange program. In general, I was looking for another opportunity to study in a foreign country.

But before I kept mentioning about how I was going to take a sewing class or that I was taking a class. So I wanted to share with you my creations. I really have enjoyed learning how to sew and sewing. I am frequently the one who is way behind, but usually I am excited to stay in the lab.

Skirt with exposed zipper

a collared shirt, not very tailored

A skirt with pleats

A white collared shirt that would actually fit this tall, skinny man

A little girl's dress

A bow tie

I hope to be in better touch. I have no promises on how frequent I will be, especially since I have been working on my accounting mutant blog too.

A Presto!

Marzipan

I'm back?

Hi minimal group of readers. I am unpredictable for myself and it has been over six months since I said I would return to being a regular blogger. I have a blogging but today and worked on some posts. Let's see if I can manage balancing my life and blogging, or balance my life by blogging.

As this is a Sunday my thoughts are on humility. I have learned a lot of that recently as I have been heavily dependent on people for my well-being and safety. I realize that I take a lot of that for granted in my regular life and most of it comes from Gd. Many random bad things could happen at any time but Gd manages to put them only in specific people's life- sorry if that is you, but it is for a good reason. It brings me back to the ideal that I wanted where I tried to learn something from everyone. Yes, I am far from that ideal, but it is the goal.

The world would benefit greatly if people applied the quote in the picture (thanks again google images for helping me find the right image for humility from a blog from a First Baptist Church in Missouri). Adding to it, humility is not taking everyone else's word over your own, but understanding that everyone has value to add in your life.

 I am very grateful for the helpful people that Gd has put into my life at this time. As I have taken that opportunity to be an exchange student in Milan, Italy, I am in a city where I am barely learning the language and have relied on many people to help me get the things that I need. Thanks to all those that have helped me here, in traveling here, in making this trip possible, and my parents who are helping in all of those steps.

Artistic Endeavors at School

Hypothetically, if I had an audience that waited for my posts and ate every word that I wrote, they would probably be wondering what I meant when I talked about "developing skills in various classes" (and other extra things like a job) and if that had anything to do with what I blog about. I am happy to tell you that they do! And I have learned that different things in my asbestos post- while from sources on the internet- are incorrect. I will have to fix that eventually.

I once was told that when learning these hobby arts, it is important to consult someone with skill to learn about it. So in order to apply that, I am taking classes on singing and sewing! Like I said before, I have no intention of becoming a famous singer, but Kleon said it was good to stick with the things we love. I love to sing, and singing is so much better with the techniques I have been taught. I really feel so much better after singing with more proper technique. I'm excited to see where this will take me. Sewing, of course, is to help me learn more about clothes so I can pursue my fashion interest. We shall see if this amounts to anything, but at least it will allow me to eventually make my own clothes. I hope it does because the fashions I see really need some help (a mon avis).

I think I will try to balance my interests in my posts. Once a week I can blog about music and another day of the week I can blog about fashion! Let's try music Mondays and fashion Fridays! We'll see if I can manage it...  : D

Coincidences in Life

You know you might need sleep when you find your physics textbook reading hilarious. Haha, the line that got me tonight was "Therefore, [lots of science junk] the lens must obey." HAHAHA. I like that my textbook thinks it can command lenses. Anyhow, this reading oddly corresponds with the training I had at my job today.

I am working with the databases and information on asbestos at the place I work. It is a job that nicely combines my counting-mutant (accountant, if you don't catch the reference) physicist skills. Databases and samples that are trying to portray a complete entity combine my emphasis of audit accounting with the data sampling and experimental procedures I learned in studying physics. Anyhow, with this job I take the booklets about samples taken and input them on the database. Today my boss was explaining to me how the best way to test for asbestos is by TEM. And strangely enough my physics reading is the basis going into optics TEM.

Like I said yesterday, I don't believe in coincidences. I may or may not have said that in person rather than on the blog- I can't remember and don't care to check since I should really be doing my homework. I take this to mean that I really need to understand this stuff and I am in the right spot for the Gd-inspired path that I have been praying to find. Things are looking good :)

"Fake it til you make it"

My thoughts have been on the topic of "faking it until you make it". This phrase was in one of my reading assignments I was reading today, but it was already on my mind because of my adjustment to being back at school. Social situations are complicated and I'm sure everyone can relate to anxiety related to concerns of "what will people think of me".  I admit that this was a great hindrance to me for a large part of my life. While I have overcome major obstacles in my path of true freedom to be myself, I am still not free of it.

If those two weren't enough to get me to want to blog about it (and the fact that it is also a topic in Steal Like an Artist) a friend on facebook shared this video. Once again I can't get the video to work, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Maybe this doesn't seem as related as I am making it out to be, so let me explain. "fake it til you make it", a mon avis, means to ignore the social pressures to be someone you are not and pretend to be the person you want to be until you become that person. You (of course I mean 'I', but I feel more comfortable saying you) are not a fake when you "fake it til you make it"; you are simply embracing the true you as you become that person.

Of course this is all easier said than done. A major part of it is your own acceptance of who you are and who you want to be. It is very true that once you accept yourself you no longer rely on the acceptance of others, and (awkwardly enough) that tends to be when you are more accepted. A friend told me that majority of people seek to be normal- I always thought the opposite was true. Sometimes our seeking to be normal leads us to lose the true part of ourselves- I always thought that and always tried to be different (being hipster before it was popular ;), but that too can lead us to not follow our dreams. Trying to be what people expect you to be, what people idolize you as, etc will also keep you from being yourself. Somehow we just have to magically not care about all of that and be our best selves. Then we can 'make it'.

Asbestos!

In lieu of my researching many things Sherlock Holmes, I am making a blog post similar to what Sherlock might do (really just more on a topic he would do). Asbestos is the random topic- specifically the locations that asbestos could be found. Most of my information is coming from the wikipedia article on asbestos. Let me know if you think it is up to par.

• Chlor Alkali diaphragm membranes used to make chlorine (currently in the USA) 

• Drywall and joint compound

• Plaster

• Gas mask filters pre 1960s

• Mud and texture coats

• Vinyl floor tiles, sheeting, adhesives

• Roofing tars, felts, siding, and shingles^[36]

• "Transite" panels, siding, countertops, and pipes

• Popcorn ceilings, also known as acoustic ceilings

• Fireproofing

• Caulk

• Industrial and Marine Gaskets, including those made by Garlock Sealing Technologies

• Packing, a system for sealing a rotating shaft

• Brake pads and shoes

• Stage curtains

• Fire blankets

• Interior fire doors

• Fireproof clothing for firefighters

• Thermal pipe insulation

• Filters for removing fine particulates from chemicals, liquids and wine

• Dental cast linings

• HVAC flexible duct connectors

• Drilling fluid additives

• Low density insulating board (often referred to as AIB or asbestos insulating board) and ceiling tiles;

• Asbestos-cement pipe (made until the early 1990s by at least one manufacturer);

• Asbestos-cement sheets and pipes for construction, casing for water and electrical/telecommunication services;

• Thermal and chemical insulation (e.g., fire rated doors, limpet spray, lagging and gaskets)

"In 2010, Washington State banned asbestos in automotive brakes starting in 2014." This presumably means that brakes still have asbestos in them even though above stated that they started replacing them with non-asbestos replacements in mid-1990's. 1980's is date on stopping ceiling tiles with asbestos. Another potential side-effect of terrorist attack is asbestos exposure: "Inhalation of a mixture of asbestos and other toxicants is thought to be linked to the unusually high death rate of emergency service workers from cancer since the disaster. Many thousands more are now thought to be at risk of developing cancer due to this exposure with those who have died so far being only the 'tip of the iceberg'." Of course as long as the temperatures remain under a certain point, after that asbestos becomes non-hazardous: "Asbestos can be recycled by transforming it into harmless silicate glass. A process of thermal decomposition at 1000–1250 °C produces a mixture of non-hazardous silicate phases, and at temperatures above 1250 °C it produces silicate glass." Also, if the asbestos is adequately wet it will prevent exposure by explosion of a building with asbestos: "The phrase "adequately wet" is an environmental term referring to the handling of asbestos containing work, such as the demolition of older houses containing carcinogenic asbestos tiles or roof materials. Since there is no minimum threshold for a safe level of outdoor asbestos particle concentration, it should be handled by making it wet in order to prevent the escape of particles. The United States Environmental Protection Agency defines the term 'adequately wet' as: "sufficiently mixed or penetrated with liquid to prevent the release of particulates"." Does this mean water or any other similar liquid?

****UPDATE****
The usage of asbestos was never actually banned. Things can still be sold and created with asbestos in them. The restrictions on asbestos is the limit of how much a person can be exposed to- within certain limits set by OSHA and EPA. Typically that means that asbestos material is ok where it is as long as it isn't friable- meaning able to release asbestos fibers in the air by hand pressure. This does create problems when renovating or demolishing, which happens a lot with the older buildings that have asbestos.
Unfortunately they do not burn the asbestos to change it into something less harmful. It is simply buried in a landfill where the fibers can't get into the air. The next form of asbestos is tiger eye-after more time, moisture, and pressure in the cracks in the earth.
The real danger of asbestos are the tiny fibers which our bodies do not have a way to remove from our body. The minute ones (at least 5 micrometers long with a 3:1 length-width aspect ratio according to regulatory agencies) get stuck in our tissues and bug them to cancer. The wet method is just to prevent fibers from getting released, as much as it can. Anything that small that gets lodged in our tissues that doesn't belong will probably have the same result.

Sidekick Needed

This is another random thought process related to my recent research. I introduced McKay Crockett and never once mentioned Keith Evans. That does not properly portray the life sketch of McKay Crockett. After working together in Vocal Point, they have taken on their major accomplishments together (Remix, Remix Academy, Hudson Lights, arrangements, etc). 



McKay and Keith collaborating
(from totallymissingthepoint.wordpress.com)

Sidekick is a catchy name, but co-conspirator would be the more accurate name. Co-conspirators make the idea better and help in making it happen. They are so important. Being a schemer as well, I know how important it is to have someone to join in. When I try something different solo, all I get is stares. When someone else joins me, it tends to grow and more people jump in. Easiest example is dances, if I go out and start dancing by myself, no one joins me. If I get one friend to join me, it is amazing how people just come and join (yeah, that's what they came to do, but they don't want to be the first in the floor).

Sherlock needs John Watson and Dr. Who always needs a companion. I know those are fictitious examples, but they do illustrate a truth. Ideas need to be shared and improved upon by other ideas. You both work to help the idea come to fruition and as I share my ideas they begin to fill in the holes that make them not workable. It is such a wonderful thing to have someone to work with.

When I embark on an idea adventure, I always do better with another person's input and ideas. For things that are just expressing what I'm feeling, I need to know what feeling they get from it. But for the ones that are more major and require effort, they are important in making it happen. I am very grateful for the co-conspirators in my life that come here and there with the various ideas that I try out. Some successful and some not, but always much better because they were there and helped out.

Random Thoughts

I wanted to randomly talk about a concept in my mind. It was forming when I read an article in a magazine and the article really helped put it all together in my mind (link to article at the bottom). Plus, with all the people I've been blogging about, I feel like it really fits.

The concept is how one creates a long-lasting, successful business. In summary of what I've written so far, I feel that Disney, Google, and Apple have built themselves on that principle. Their purpose is to provide a quality product and service in a way that benefits all those involved: customers, workers, share holders, and the world.

I really feel like that the focus needs to not be the profit, fame, power, or influence that might come from being successful, but in providing service to the world. The moment the focus shifts, it makes a dramatic difference that I don't know how to explain. And while it may still make a profit and accomplish what became the focus- something is missing and the value of what is being done diminishes. 

I feel like this is the truth in life. We have to be open and honest in everything we do. When we do that, we will enjoy what we do. Add that with a quality product or service, customers will be happy and business will grow. I find that a wonderful law of the universe! If you do something that helps the world, you are benefitted as well. 

As a religious person, I find that my commitment to follow the pattern set by Gd follows under this same rule. I have to obey Gd's commandments first and then trust that He will make everything work out after that. I can't explain it, but it is a principle I have observed in my life and the lives of others. I know that the commitment to Gd, honesty, and integrity will make the difference in finding true success in life. 

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/12/making-a-living-making-a-life?lang=eng